Sunday, May 31, 2009

Medical Advice FAIL

I was reading up on some allergy medicine I was thinking of trying (with socialized medicine you can try anything for FREE!) I came across a website that gives advice for certain medications. I thought this blurb for Nasarel would be a perfect submission for one of my favorite blogs, FailBlog.org. I actually submitted it to them for consideration, but in case it never goes up, I present it to you all here first. As you can see, native English speakers are perfectly capable of mangling meaning, too:

Underlined portion: "Nasarel will not work if you stop taking it". Duh!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Socialized Medicine ROCKS!



Living in Japan is truly wonderful. However, if you have allergies, you are likely to be miserable for 6 months out of the year. This is a country where they planted millions of ceder trees in an attempt to patch over the ravages of their impressive, though no less environmentally insensitive industrial revolution. Apparently nobody told them that ceder pollen is a real pain in the arse. Well, they know now. And short of razing the entire countryside, we are stuck with itchy eyes and runny noses. The up-side to all this discomfort is the Japanese medical system, which is (cover your ears conservatives) SOCIALIZED. This means that the government acts as the sole insurance provider (though people are free to purchase supplemental insurance from private companies to cover what the government plan does not- which is generally 80% of total costs.) I know the horror stories propagated by the right-wingers who say socialized medicine leads to rationed health care and long lines for basic services. Well, let me tell you about my recent foray into this medical mystery.

First, I was told I needed a health check for my new job. I went to a local clinic (anyplace is fine, so I went to the place closest to my house. This was a vast improvement over my HMO coverage back in NYC, where I HAD to go to a doctor on a list prepared by my health care provider- none of whom were even remotely close to my apartment- and if that doesn't sound like rationed health care, I don't know does), I waited about 3 minutes before I was called in to take blood and urine tests and take a chest x-ray. After another 5 minutes I was called in to sit with the doctor to discuss my x-ray. The doctor said there was a little cloudy area on one of my lungs, so I might as well go get a CT scan just to be on the safe side.

A few days later I went to get my CT scan and this time, I wasn't even able to sit down in the lobby before I was called to the CT scan room. 5 minutes later I was back on my bike headed home.

Oh, and did I mention that I didn't pay anything? In Japan CT scans are considered preventative, so they are fully covered.

Man, this was easy, I thought, so when I was going crazy with my allergies, I decided to go see an allergist. This experience was just as smooth- no appointment, no waiting, no money. The only thing I had to pay for was a portion of the medicine prescribed to me: One month's supply of Nasonex, and some Allegra. Total charge: about $15. That's cheaper than Americans having to buy it from Canada!

Now, I know it isn't really free. I have about $400 deducted from my pay every month for coverage for myself and an UNLIMITED number of dependents (this amount also includes deductions for Japan's equivalent of Social Security, so the actual cost for just the health care portion is much lower). The amount deducted from some one's paycheck depends on how much they make; the less they make, the less is taken out, but EVERYBODY pays something. But here is the kicker: Rich or poor, we ALL have the SAME coverage. And the coverage, as far as I can tell, blows away anything I ever had in the U.S. (which I could never afford because my work never offered to pay for it...and that was as a teacher in a public university!

So to all you Americans who fear Bam's Socialized Medicine plan, I hope you get a really really bad runny nose.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Governor Performs Hare Kiri over Evil Trees


The governor of Shizuoka Prefecture (home to Mt. Fuji) took responsibility for the delayed opening of the much anticipated new airport by resigning. The cause of the delay was due to several trees around the airport that were deemed "too tall" (clearly visible in the photo above). By taking responsibility for the errant trees, the governor leaves ever crafty Nature to continue to run-amok and annoy and inconvenience Japanese in the future.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

All I Ever Needed to Know about Life I Learned from a Japanese T-Shirt

While in Gunma over Golden Week, I popped into the local Shimamura to pick up some polo shirts for work. I passed the t-shirt section and found some very inspiring messages. Very Zen. Being a linguist, I have become quite proficient in deciphering English that has been translated from Japanese using generic translation software, as was clearly the case here:

Translation: When at first you don't succeed...spell check.


Translation: Life is Good (But only if you act on those sudden chances to make it so.)


Translation: Doors are good for going out. But sometimes they're not.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Caged Beast

My first sighting of a Nissan GTR it its natural habitat. Spotted this beast peaking out at me on my walk to work. It's kind of sad to see it like this, and I'm sure PETA would not approve. You could almost hear its growling 500 horsepower reduced to a whimper from behind the bars of its cage. I'm happy to report that a few days later, on a Sunday, it had escaped and was undoubtedly roaming the streets hunting Boxters, Mclarens and Corvettes.

Either that or the fat old bastard rich enough to keep it needed to pick up a new golf bag.

If you want to see what the GTR is capable of, check out this video of Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear race it around the Fuji Race Circuit in Japan- that is, until he gets whip-lash and has to be rescued by an ambulance:


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Driving School Camp Only $2500! Free Cake!

I was talking to a student today and he had a flier for this driving school camp. In Japan, you have to pay a private driving school an absurd amount of money for training before you can even take a driving test. Because of this, there are a lot of companies competing for young would-be trainees by offering week-long stays in the mountains, and other perks. Even after paying thousands for training, there is no guaranty you will pass an actual driving test. He was shocked when I told him high school students in America get free driver training classes as part of our FREE public education.

He was still excited about this driving camp though. They put you up for two weeks in Nagano, and on Fridays you get a cake buffet! As excited as he was about the cake, he was really looking forward to the manga reading room and the all-you-can-play PS3 video game area. Maybe he can practice for his driving lessons with Grand Theft Auto...


Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Butcher is BACK!


I finally made it karaoke today- our first time since coming back. The place was on the 7th floor of a building in Ogikubo. While waiting for the elevator, I noticed something intriguing on the third floor. I wanted to check it out, but we had the karaoke bug and would not be detoured. While I enjoy singing, I unfortunately don't listen to much music with words amymore. Therefore, I am stuck singing songs from the 80's and early 90's. Here is a video of me butchering poor Chris Isaak's Wicked Game:



Friday, May 1, 2009

another day on the chuo-cide line

If this train seems overly crowded it is because somebody jumped in front of an earlier train screwing up the whole schedule.the chuo line has long been a favorite of japanese looking for a quick way out. japan's suicide rate is by far the highest in the world. makes no sense to me- at least they have cool cell phones and universal health care.

posted from cell